Identity

Early on in Atomic Habits (chapter 2 to be exact) James Clear talks about shaping an identity. How habits can shape it and how an identity can shape your habits. Basically, in my understanding of it, you figure out the person you want to be and start living like that person. So, I thought today I would look at myself and my identity. Not who I am per se but the kind of person I would want to be.

Mr. Clear gave a few examples on setting goals on page 24. So, I guess I should talk about goals. Are goals inherently bad? The internet is full of content about setting and keeping goals. Mr. Clear touches on one’s view of goals in his book. My take away is that it’s not setting goals themselves but what goals you set that are important. I want to deadlift 400lbs and run a 30-minute 5k. Great! But what happens when I do that. Well Robert you just set a new goal is the reasoning. But really do I want a new goal of deadlifting 401lbs and running 29-minute 5k. When does it become redundant or boring or less motivating for me? The figurative engine for me personally loses steam.

A person can reach a goal that could be called finite, but then what? Been down that road. I want to go to the gym 3 times a week and do X workout. Yay for a month its awesome! I met my goal! Then all of sudden its not that great and slowly (sometimes not so slowly) it fades away. I am back in my pajamas spending most of the morning drinking coffee watching motivational videos and wasting an hour or more while gym gets easy money. I think I need to get back, and then the over planning begins.  Through the year I lurch and grind and give myself whiplash from the herkie jerky method. Going to the gym wasn’t part of my life, it was a task to check off.  I wasn’t a gym person; I went to the gym.

Like Mr. Clear mentions in said chapter, for example is you goal is to read more? But wait, really the goal should be to BE a book reader.  To me a goal isn’t just doing something to get to a point but instead its to be someone (talent and ability do play a role.) You develop the habits to be that someone. It gradually becomes who you are, who you are living as. Hopefully my example helps you out.

I decided I didn’t just want to go to the gym or eat healthy in itself. I wanted it to be broader…I like the word lifestyle. Therefore, I want to live a healthy active lifestyle. That is the person I want to be. Well what kind of person lives a healthy active life?  They move more than they watch Netflix or play video games. The eat better foods more often than they eat a package of cookies.  They develop discipline and self-confidence. (I know those two words can be scary or intimidating, I elaborate on them in a future post.)  It’s an ongoing process. Perhaps it will involve deadlifting 400lbs or running a 30 minute 5k. But those are part of the lifestyle not the life itself. The way I see it one never reaches the peak of being healthy and active. You are that person every day. I don’t work for a gym or a spa. I have a job and responsibilities like many of you. I can’t make a healthy active lifestyle my entire life, but I can make it a part of my life. I am creating habits to make it that way. Basically healthy and active is always running in the background.

Case in point, I am blogging this journal not because I want to be a blogger, I am doing this because it contributes to my healthy active lifestyle. It’s becoming a habit slowly but surely. I think about the blog a lot, what to say how to say it and when. I don’t need to force myself to do it, it just does. I want to develop the same for some other habits related to the lifestyle.

Choose the person you want to be and start living like that person, develop habits (no matter how small) that person would have. Create a mindset that person would have. Let’s say you are not sure. Then try reverse engineering it. Think of the habits you would like to develop then ask yourself what kind of person would have these habits. Start from there. Break it down as small as you need to. Remember don’t over plan. Nothing is written in stone. Just get an idea and run with it. Just like me.

At this time, I am asking you to remember I am not a professional I am not here to tell anyone how or what they should do on their habit journey.  You should consult with a doctor and/or if your circumstances require it a mental health professional as a stepping stone as part of that journey of changes.

We are in this together, even if the person we want to be is different. I’ll keep posting my progress. I may have to adjust or change as I go or life may change for me unexpectantly. I guess we will see together. Contact me or leave a comment as we go along.

Keep up those tiny habits, I’m proud of you!